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User blog:Teddyfail/East vs West translated chinese hong kong version
I try to post this on the thread but it's too long EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY 經典饒舌爭霸戰 LAO TZU 老子 SUN TZU 孫子 AndCONFUCIUS 及孔子 VS 決戰 NIETZSCHE 尼采 SOCRATES 蘇格拉底 and VOLTAIRE 及伏儞泰 Begin! 開始！ I’m coming off the Acropolis 我特地來雅典衛城 to start some pandemonium 當個不逞之徒 Don’t bring limp raps 不要帶癱軟的歌詞 to a pimp slap symposium 到這個辨論饗宴會 The mad gadfly 大哥是瘋狂的牛虻 philosophy was my invention 哲學是我的發明！ rolling with the flyest nihilist 與最強的虛無主義者 and me, their French henchman 還有小弟，他們的法國心腹！ We’ve got the wisdom 我們天資聰敏 And the wit 是百龍之智 That even I couldn’t question 連我本人也不能過問 dropping Western medicine 把我們的西藥 on these East infections 擊退感染酵母菌的中國人 It’s evident 這已足夠證明了 You've never been 你們不能 our type of mental brethren 及得過我們心理，弟兄 we're better thinkers 我們是較屌的思想家 better speakers 較屌的演説家 better lovers 較屌的情聖 better men 較屌的人 This type of arrogance 你們這些西洋人當哲學家 is sure to be expected 只是纸上談兵 from men who speak of wisdom 跟本對尊重這兩字 with no clue of what respect is 根本一竅不通 you Westerners are sloppy 你們西方人懶散 needing discipline in life 需要管理你的生命 you lack control of yourselves 你們沒有了控制自我 and of the mic 及麥克風能力 while we use precise strikes 我們掌握時機來攻擊 to disrupt your concentration 打破你們的專注力 hand you an ass whipping 這次打敗你們的戰績 our decedents 一定會 will honor for generations 名留千古 we filled a nation 我們用耐心 with patience 來建立中國 and the presence 令現代 for living 的生活良好 and you’ll never hold a candle 而你們永不能 to the wisdom 超越 we’ve 我們 written 所寫的哲學 Oh, I’ll give you something 噢！我可以令 you can bow and kowtow to 你甘拜下風得叩頭 when I squat down and squeeze out 當我蹲下和拉 a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu 一「道」屎在老子面上 You need to take control 你應該考慮到控制 of the life you’re given 閣下餘下的時間 They call me Uber-mensch 稱大哥為「超人」 cause I’m so driven 因為我高高在上 And I’m a free thinker 小弟是個自由思想家 so confronting conformists like you 對抗墨守成規的你嗎 it’s my job 這是我的工作 got a sharp wit like a spit 我有一個機智敏銳 that’ll skewer you 有很串的歌詞 like a Confu-shish kebab 就像烤羊串燒 You flubbed the mission 你真失敗 I’m beating your submissive ass 你順從就範一世 into submission 也不會被高人重用 Dishing out more disses 反之我祭出了比 than letters and pamphlets and plays 已經出版的信和小書本和戲曲 I’ve been publishing 更諷刺的侮辱 Now that we’ve covered the two 現在，我們已經串了 Yin and Yang twins 小陰和小陽兩兄弟 I can move on to Jackie Chan 我可以攻擊成龍了 Sun Tzu I’ll be picking apart your Wu 孫子，我會用我的神級方法 with my method, man 去粉碎你的吳國，兄台 The seminal general 看來這位小將軍 isn’t so tough on the mic 在饒舌方面不是太過強 All your men must be like 你的士兵也不知所操，曰 Yo what happened? 生何事？ You’re pitiful lyrically 你的歌詞太過差 lucky for history 幸好歷史 You didn’t author the art of rapping 沒有使編寫「孫子饒舌法」 Bitch I wrote the Art of War 婊子！予寫之是兵法， So you better get your guns out 乃簡直是「泥菩薩過江」！ These white boys getting burned 孫子之歌詞太火辣 Cause guess what 像太陽公公 Now the Sun’s out 出來火燒白人 Asians spitting sick 亞洲人吐出一針見血的侮辱 but no this isn’t SARS 但這非「沙士」 Laozi kick the beat 老子，製造節拍 Now Confucius drop some bars 孔子，進攻他們 Let me be Candide with you Voltaire 孔氏先當「老實人」 French drip with the egg noodle hair 法國蛋散和麵條形的長髮 Your ego’s just so distracting 爾之自我喧賓奪主 free speech doesn’t mean just keep yapping 有言論自由不等於可以廢話 And you killed God so I gotta ask 還有殺死上帝的那個，吾有點疑惑 Did he die of shame 衪未定因造了 when he made your mustache? 閲下之大鬍鬚而去？ You tried to plant a new German psyche 余嘗種植新德國之鬥志 But you just grew hate 但你只得人痛恨 me no Third Reichy 還製造了第三帝國 And it all starts with you 而此全因你，老蘇 you’re the father Socrates 你可是他們的「哲學老爸」 Honestly, I think you owe 説真的，你該 both of your students here an apology 向你兩位徒弟作出道歉 I wouldn’t exactly call myself 我才不會做 a student of this plebe 這個窮鬼的學生 Don’t make Nietzsche come over 別令尼采過來 and put a knee up in your chi 踢你那度「氣」 because I’m 因為我是 N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E And I’ll end any mother fucker 我會K.O.這些仆街 like my name in a spelling bee 像我的名字在串字比賽裏 Plebe bitch? 窮鬼？該死， I’m toxic like a hemlock sip 我像毒参那麼毒 Hang a sandal on the door 你入來我的房間， cause you can suck Soc’s dick 我邀請你吃「蘇格拉弟弟」 Sacre bleu Socrates 我的天呀，蘇格拉底！ You’re making things a little tense 你太認真了！ Come, let’s blind these Chinese heinies 來，用你的聰明才智 With some shiny bright enlightenment 對付這些中國人！ I’ll not be taught camaraderie 我才不會聽從 From a frog who rigged the lottery 你這些出千的法國人説話！ You make a mockery of ethics 你是哲學界的羞恥 So keep your fat nose in your coffee 你這個大鼻回去喝你的咖啡 Let me be frank 我要向你坦率 Don’t start beef with the Frank 千萬不要和伏儞泰亂來 who hangs with B. Franks 我是富蘭克林的老友 giving ladies beef franks 更常請女士吃我的「香腸」 I have turned them on themselves 我令他們內訌 Their chaos is our opportunity 我們是時候乘勝追擊了 We must remember 要記着 a bowl is most useful when it is empty 埏埴以為器，當其無，有器之用 Laozi I don’t mean no disrespect 唉，老子，我並非不敬 But you need to fill your bowl 但你可否不要說 with some shit that makes some sense 一些毫無關係的廢話 Oh you don’t want to stand 噢！你絕對不會想 in the path of Lao Tzu today 挑戰老子的《道德經》 I’ll make you move bitch 我會嚇你一跳，婊子 get out the way! 所以最好閃開！ Yo, where in the tradition 古語有云 of rap battles is it written 所有饒舌爭霸戰中 that two dudes on the same team 兩個組友 should squabble 不應 like some clucking chickens? 像小學雞般吵架 Man, Confucius 孔子 you always try to put 你經常都要 something in its place 當和事佬 Why don’t you tell your eyebrows 不如你安慰你那古怪的眉毛 they need to fit better on your face 不用那麼難過 Okay, I see 噢，看來你 you wanna make it like that 也想跟我鬥 I’ll smack that war mongering head 我一拳打飛你這個引起戰爭的家伙 out of your to-go box hat 的外賣盒帽子 So here’s the real golden rule 這才是真正的恕道 I’m way above you weak rookies 我永遠都是比你們優秀 Confucius say 子曰： you can all hold these fortune cookies 爾可拿這幸運曲奇！ Category:Blog posts